the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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