Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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