Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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