totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
