if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
