I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
