No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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