I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
