my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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