JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
