No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
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