Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
