Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize