I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
