I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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