So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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