peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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