so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
