Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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