R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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