That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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