i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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