Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
