no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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