i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
