Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I supernannyed him into submission
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize