u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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