ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
