the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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