sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
