you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
