The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Houston, we have a blender
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
