He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
