Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
