I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
God, I missed his penis.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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