based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
