Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
