do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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