He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
