i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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