I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
