dude i'm inner monologue high
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize