i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize