It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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