Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize