would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
