You're completely useless in the revolution.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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