I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
