ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I need water and some morals
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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