Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
