all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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