I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
