We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize