you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
