Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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