My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
bring money and cleavage
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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