i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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