Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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