Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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