Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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