i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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