Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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