I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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