she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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